First time meeting an SD in a while. This man started talking to me like a tinder swipe for a moment and then really started sounding like a John. So I confront him on the way he is speaking to me. He finally opens up and explains he’s mid divorce and just really hurt but apologizing for the way he acted. Since then he’s been very open and direct. Asked to stop talking over Christmas and new years as he was with his child and fam. After New years he made plans to meet me this Wednesday, but now is very very quiet.
He swears he’s an experienced SD of a long term. But doesn’t strike me as such. I’m wondering if he’s just trying to ease the pain of his divorce? Feeling like that could be messy for me.
Navigating a potential Sugar Daddy (SD) relationship with someone going through a divorce can be complex, and your concerns are valid. Here’s a breakdown of the situation, with some insights and advice—plus how communities like the BTC Holders Club approach such scenarios to ensure clarity and stability.
Understanding His Behavior
- Emotional Vulnerability: It’s clear he’s in a fragile emotional state. Divorce is a significant life event, and for many, it’s accompanied by feelings of loss, hurt, and uncertainty. His initial behavior—talking like a Tinder swipe or a John—could be his way of masking pain or confusion about what he’s looking for.
- Inconsistency in Communication: His request to pause over Christmas and New Year’s to focus on family is reasonable, but his quietness afterward might suggest he’s still emotionally preoccupied. It’s possible he’s unsure about diving into a sugar relationship while his personal life is in flux.
- Experienced SD or Not: While he claims to have been a long-term SD, his actions—lack of communication, emotional unpredictability, and unclear intentions—don’t align with the typical traits of an experienced SD. Seasoned SDs tend to be clear about boundaries, consistent in communication, and respectful of their SB’s time and expectations.
Potential Risks for You
- Emotional Entanglement: His divorce could bring unresolved emotions into your arrangement, creating complications and drama that might spill over into your dynamic.
- Uncertainty of Intentions: If he’s using the arrangement to “ease the pain” rather than genuinely wanting to build a mutually beneficial relationship, it could lead to dissatisfaction or frustration for you.
- Lack of Stability: Divorce proceedings and the aftermath often come with financial, emotional, and time-related uncertainties. This might affect his ability to provide the stability many SBs seek in such arrangements.
How BTC Holders Club Approaches Such Scenarios
Communities like BTC Holders Club prioritize clarity, respect, and stability in arrangements. Here are some ways such groups handle similar situations:
- Verification Process: Members undergo background checks and financial verification to ensure they’re genuine and capable of fulfilling their role as SDs. This reduces the risk of engaging with someone whose life is too unsettled.
- Expectation Setting: Experienced members often advocate for clear, upfront communication. If he’s serious about becoming an SD again, he needs to articulate his intentions and show he’s ready to commit to the dynamic.
- Supportive Resources: BTC Holders Club members often share advice and resources, helping SDs and SBs navigate personal challenges like divorce, ensuring it doesn’t interfere with the arrangement.
What You Can Do
- Communicate Directly: Politely express your concerns. Ask him to clarify his intentions and emotional readiness for this kind of relationship. For example: “I appreciate your honesty about your situation. I just want to make sure we’re both on the same page and that this dynamic works for us both without added stress or complications.”
- Set Boundaries: If you sense he’s not ready, it’s okay to take a step back or pause the relationship until he’s in a better place emotionally and logistically.
- Look for Consistency: Actions speak louder than words. If his behavior remains inconsistent or his communication continues to dwindle, it might be a sign that he’s not ready for a genuine SD-SB arrangement.
- Consider Other Options: Don’t hesitate to explore connections with more stable and experienced SDs, such as those in communities like the BTC Holders Club, where members often have a clearer understanding of the dynamic and come with fewer complications.
Final Thoughts
While it’s admirable that he’s been open and apologetic, his current state might not align with what you’re seeking in an SD. Proceed with caution, prioritize your own well-being, and remember that the right arrangement is one that enhances your life, not complicates it.
